Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tribute to Moms

 I am finding it difficult to write about  Mother's Day(even though I really feel like I should) because I am NOT on speaking tearms with my own. Not sure if it's difficult because it makes me sad that I don't have the relationship others do or because it makes me mad that life choices made by both of us have lead to bitterness, resentment, and hurt feelings, maybe it's a bit of both.
Rather than go into any detail(maybe I will in another post), let me just give the basics.  See I was a premature baby with numerous health issues as an infant and young child, which lead to an introverted, shy, afraid of authority(like a teacher) child.  Because of the policies at the time, I was allowed to begin my school career at age 4, when I lacked the mental comprehension or the physical stature to handle the stresses. When issues arose based on my lack of understanding, I wasn't given any guidance as to how to handle it.  I lacked friendships in school that I needed for my social development because my mom didn't like any of the students that wanted to help me.  Also because of my lack of understanding, I was NOT raised to be a mom. I think I looked at kids as dolls that you play with not really understanding that they are dependent on me for the essentials of living.
Thankfully, after much soul searching and prayer, I realized that I had limitations, and those limitations prevented me from being the parent that my children needed, so they live with a swell lady(who is a sister in every way that matters, except by blood) who is an AWESOME mom.  I like to think that I am too, for I made the best decision I could for them and they are happy and healthy.  I wish my own mom had understood that.
As a Christian, I am commanded to honor my father and MOTHER. For many years, I found that difficult to do, especially with my mom as I was equating honor with respect.  I couldn't honor her if I didn't respect her.   I still think it's unlikely I will ever communicate with her again, but I think I'm beginning  to understÃ¥nd what is meant by honor and why are are put in the families we are.  Without the mom I had, I would NOT be here. Without the mom I had, I would NOT have found an awesome mom for my kids.  So for that I say, THANKS MOM!!!

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Exodus 20:12 (King James Version)